Being Happy With What Is

I am a big believer in setting goals, something I've repeatedly blogged about in the past. In fact, this entire blog's reason for being is because of our goal to get out of debt and become financially free. I think goals keep us moving forward, keep us on track, and keep us positive. But there's a problem with focusing too much on goals.

A goal is something that you plan or intend to achieve at some point in the future. By definition, a goal is not met until later, or next month, or 10 years from now. A goal is intangible, even theoretical. While we're wrapped up in plans, and distracted by the ultimate prize - whether it's a new house, a better paying job, or a paid-off credit card - real life is unfolding around us now, whether we're paying attention to it or not. How can we expect to appreciate a realized goal if we can't appreciate what we have already?

I read another article the other day, about the state of the housing market in the valley. It warned about an even bigger crash, still to come, due to what's called the "shadow market," the number of homes soon to be listed due to foreclosures, short sales, and fed-up homeowners simply walking away from their mortgages and their responsibilities. For months now, the predictions have been changing... Home values will start leveling! Home values will start rising! Home values will plunge even more! I don't know what's going to happen in the next several years, but this much I know:

1. Goal : to eventually move out of this house and into something better suited to a family of six.

2. Reality : the market is not going be favorable to our being in a position to sell anytime in the foreseeable future.

We can plan, we can crunch numbers, we can save, we can dream.... but what good would any of that do if it prevented us from living in the present; prevented us from enjoying the lovely, safe, and warm home we have now; prevented us from living in gratitude for Mike's job, for our health, for our families, for lungs filled with air and two legs to stand on?

Compared to many, we live simply. Compared to many others, we have an embarrassment of riches! From computers and cell phones to game systems and large screen TVs. I never want to find myself in a place of needing more stuff to make me happy. I never want to find myself in a place of taking anything in my life, no matter how large or small, for granted. I want to enjoy where we're at and what we have, and be at total peace with what is: We make a fine income, much of which is sucked up by way-too-much debt and payments on a house that is worth a fraction of what we owe on it. We buy clothes - and furniture and cars and toys - second-hand, and it's rarely in our budget to do things like go out to eat. Some of those things may change in the future... and I hope and pray that they do!... but in the meantime, I'm happy.

Today I choose to be thankful.

February Numbers & Unexpected Expenses

I'm tempted to skip my monthly summaries for the next few months, as we are going to be see-sawing up and down between our tax return, my school payments, and two vacations we have coming up... but in the interest of accountability, I know that I can't. So, total debt for February (thanks in large part to some tax return money):

Down by $2727.57

Unfortunately, March has brought with it some new expenses. Right now, Mike's truck is in the shop for a few different issues, and most likely won't be coming home for under $800. And this week, the boys went to the dentist for a cleaning, and while 2 of them are cavity free (for which I am thankful!) the third needs a couple of fillings: Another $250 we were not expecting or planning for.

I know we'll figure it all out - we always do - but I'm not excited about the $1000 blip in our debt repayment efforts. Ah, life.

Book Sneeze

If you're a blog owner, check out Book Sneeze. It's a simple (yet genius) program that sends free books to bloggers, in exchange for a review posted on said blog, and on a retail site such as Amazon. After you post your review, they verify it, then you can request your next book. Pretty slick. I just signed up yesterday, and I've already selected my first book.

I'm not into shoes, manicures, or purses. If I buy myself new clothes, it's usually limited to jeans and t-shirts. No, where I spend my money (or would like to spend my money) is on books and movies. I LOVE books and movies, so anything that helps me get either one for free - AND gives me an excuse to blog about it - gets my two very enthusiastic thumbs up.

Something Cool, Part Two

For Lesa ;) and anyone else who's interested...

The person who designed the program I mentioned in my last post is a man by the name of Michael S Brown, an internet marketing expert. I really love his products. After I worked through the Niche Blitzkrieg course, I told my husband that I was glad I spent the money just for the information alone, and that any income would just be a bonus. I really enjoyed learning about researching keywords, what works versus what doesn't, how to get listed with search engines, etc. It's a fun little project, and I approached it like I did most projects: as an experiment.

I always feel weird mentioning anything that would make me money, since that is not the purpose of this blog, so to bypass the whole shameless plug thing - yes, I would make a commission if you signed up with anything through my links, but I wouldn't share it if I didn't find it worthwhile, useful, and interesting.

This is the site I built to explain a bit about the process, and Michael's products:

Make Money Blogging

There are links and explanations for some of his products, including the one I used, and there are some free downloadable items there too. Hope you find something helpful!

Something Cool

Several months ago, I took a little e-course about making money through affiliate marketing. I was very excited about it, worked feverishly to start building my sites, and was thrilled by the first few pennies I started to make.

Then, because I'm me, I gradually lost interest and moved onto other things. My sites are all still up and running though, and apparently my due diligence in getting them set up properly is starting to pay off! My very first site, My Canvas Messenger Bag, is beginning to pick up in sales; and last week I made my first sale on this site: The Digital Book Reader, which netted me quite a nice little commission. Cool!

Seeing some returns has made me want to get back into it, and see what else I can do.

Taking Responsibility

I saw an ad for a debt relief company yesterday. It wasn't debt counseling, or debt consolidation, it was just plain old "Sign up with us, and we'll help you lower your monthly payments and get up to 50% of your debt excused." So basically, lucky you. That $30,000 you owe to credit cards, largely because you were irresponsible with money in the first place? Guess what, you no longer have to pay it all off!

Those ads, and all the others like them, evoke a myriad of emotions every time I see them. Mostly what they make me feel is straight-up anger. There, I said it.

I know that what others do and don't do with their own lives is not my business. The thing is, when others' choices are affecting me and my family it becomes my business. The economy is partly the way it is because of people's choices. The housing market is partly the way it is because of people's choices. I say "partly" because I understand and recognize that things do happen that are beyond our control. I've seen first-hand what layoffs and furloughs can do. I've seen how catastrophic medical emergencies can devastate a family in all areas, including its finances. It's a harsh reality, but people get sick, accidents happen, and jobs are lost. This isn't about those specific circumstances.

The fact remains that there are A LOT of people who face financial hardships because of their own poor decisions! And because of programs like the one I mentioned above, they have no incentive to make things right or change their habits or prevent it from happening again. Sure, buy that plasma TV. Take that cruise. Get those manicures.

What's that? Having trouble keeping up with the bills? No problem, let's just forgive your debt and send you back on your way. Enjoy that TV.

I've watched people live their rich, lavish lives on borrowed money, oblivious to their growing debt. I've watched others spend all their money on extras and entertainment, then turn around and bemoan the fact that they can't afford to pay their electric bill or their car payment or their mortgage.

I hate that we have debt. I hate that we do without so many things so that we can make big payments on God-knows-what that we bought 2 years ago. I hate that we're paying on a mortgage that is a good hundred thousand more than the house is currently worth. I hate that we're in most ways stuck here until the market improves or we somehow fall into a great deal of cash.

But, we'll keep living the way we're living, and paying back what we borrowed, because WE BORROWED IT! We owe it! It's not the state's problem, or the government's, or the neighbors' down the street. It's OUR responsibility. If that means my getting a job - and it's very nearly come to that more than once - then it means my getting a job. If it means clipping coupons, shopping second hand, and staying home more often than we go out, then we'll do that too. Are there months that I'm tempted to just pay the credit card minimums and "blow" the rest? Are there times when we fantasize about what we could do with the money if we skipped paying some essential bill just once? Do we ever think about saying "Screw it," chucking our debt-paying efforts and living like everyone around us? Yes, yes, and YES!

Then I see those stupid commercials, and my resolve is strengthened yet again.

I'm angry that people can be irresponsible and just get rewarded for it. What's our reward for doing it the right way, the hard way? Besides the fact that we will someday be financially free, I guess there isn't one.

We do it because it's the right thing to do.

The Dollar Stretcher

I haven't looked at this too deeply yet, but it was recommended on one of my homeschool lists, and it looks like it might be worth a gander. Any little tip helps, right?!


The Dollar Stretcher